Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize