you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
