Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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