There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
