4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
with your own penis?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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