o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
This house was built for laser tag.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
