Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
