i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
