he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
