her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
