I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
