Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So much Jack, so little girl.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
