Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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