This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize