From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize