Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
