Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she told me i tasted like america
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
