To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize