we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
