Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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