if only i could text you this smell
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
