I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
