All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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