There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
