1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
