i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So much rum. So many feels.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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