Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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