he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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