it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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