i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
