dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
