So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
