I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
