Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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