your room smells of hookers.
And success
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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