I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
