I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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