i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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