You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
