He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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