I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
