you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Found the puke drawer
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
