we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
