I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
