Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
as a side note pls kill me
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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