he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
