That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
