clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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