Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
