Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How does one acquire holy water?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
