found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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