Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
