I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
