i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Rumble strips road head = magical
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
