no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is Oprah even human
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
