Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just forgot I was standing up.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
