im having a threesome with these popsicles
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
