That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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