Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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