remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize