:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
