I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
