So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
operation harelip BJ is a go
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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