So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
