so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
