You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I said "one day" and that day is not today
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
