So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
