Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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