do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize