google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
