I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
