Joe is yelling at the trees again.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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