Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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