Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
