we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
